i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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