Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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