I wish life had little blips of pornography
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
