do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
