I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
