She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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