she smelled like a LAN party
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
