Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
