I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
