At least make sure they are 18
Why
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He better not be in your backpack
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
