I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
honey bunches of taint.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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