we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You made out with two different species that night
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize