We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
