Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.