i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.