Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
