your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters