i may or may not be watching the land before time
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
