I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
