she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
