You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize