I'm jealous of your bromance
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
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