I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
