we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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