You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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