The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize