i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
sex in a hospital.. check
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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