they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
