Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize