She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
