drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
