You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
