He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
