I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
