The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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