Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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