he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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