I just made out with a guy for $7.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My apartment stinks of burning failure
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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