i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i just google imaged poop.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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