Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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