Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
