just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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