I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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