I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
