Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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