i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
