Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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