so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
