community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
