I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
