I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
