Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
