see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
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I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
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Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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