have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
