Non-Jews are for practice
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
