His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
