If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
be right there i have to get my cape
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
