So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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