The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
