Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
