Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
