At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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