People in love make me want to vomit
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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