just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
This toilet bowl is my home.
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