So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
