Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You are a booty call, not a friend.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
