Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
