420 ftw
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
